"Subject to change"
The all-student produced summer musical production at Palomar. For those that remember correctly, the one I'm doin' publicity for.
The following is the monologue I'll be using. Please excuse the horrible grammar.
Naked Women
Lesbian spank inferno, how can I possbily enjoy a film like that? Oh! Because it has naked women in it! Look I enjoy naked women. I'm a guy we're supposed to like women. We're born like that! We like naked women as soon as we're pulled out of one: halfway down the birth canal we're already enjoying the view.
Look it's the four pillars of the male heterosexual psyche. We like: naked women, sports, lesbians, and Sean Connery best as James Bond. Because that's what being a guy is.
If you don't like it darling, go join a film collective.
And let it be known that the wonderbra is a horrible invention for the insane amount of false advertising found in our world.
Look, I want to spend the rest of my life with woman at the end of the table, but that does not stop me from wanting to see several thousand more naked bottoms before I die. Because that's what being a guy is.
When man invented fire, he didn't say "Hey, let's cook!" He said "Great! Now we can look at naked bottoms in the dark!" As soon as the printing press was invented, we're using it to print pictures of, hey! Naked Bottoms! We have turned the internet into an enormous international database of naked bottoms.
So you see, the story of male achievement throught the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been a story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms. Thank you ladies, I'm not sure how insulted you ought to be.
And I'm usin' Hellogoodbye's "Dear Jamie" to sample my voice.
Gonna be "breaking some legs" tonight.
The Random Quote:
"This whole thing is a travesty, a sham, and a mockery! It's a traveshamockery!" - Miller Lite delegate
